Revelations

Life has been changing lately. Things are falling into place and falling out of place simultaneously. I'm rolling with the punches for the most part. Living each day, trying to be present in the moment. I was blindsided this week by a situation I have never faced before. It's something that should have occurred to me, but never really did. I won't go into it, but let's just say it stung. BUT, it lead to this realization....I truly do have everything I need in my life at this very moment. Sure, I would love to have someone special by my side, who wouldn't? I would love to have that companionship, love, intimacy, all rolled up into one amazing package. But I don't. Not today at least. And I was struggling with that, I have been for awhile. Then it hit me, I have all of those things in my life already. They may not all come from the same person, but my needs are not going unmet. I have a tremendous amount of love in my life! There are so many wonderful people who care for me and don't hesitate to show it though their kindness and support. I have awesome friends who can make me laugh, be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, whatever is needed. And there is always someone I can call if sex becomes an issue. I do not lack any of the things I was sure were missing from my life. Which means, I don't NEED anyone to fill that nonexistent void. I don't need a man to come into my life for me to finally be happy. The only thing stopping me up to this point has been myself. As humans, we often self sabotage, why I don't really know. I've desperately needed this revelation to sink in. It's been told to me over and over again, but I never understood it. For some strange reason, today I do. So, when I sit down on Thursday and think about what it is I am thankful for, it will be this new understanding of my reality. It will be the hope I now I hold for everyday happiness and the ability to lean on all the people around me to fill in the gaps that I may not be able to fill myself. And one day, who knows when, there will be a man in my life to become all of those things to me, all rolled into one. How lucky I will be at that point to have twice the love in my life!